I am one of those unfortunate punters who remembers the first (and sometimes the second and third times) things have come back into vogue… no, not the magazine, I mean back in to style. It seems like every man and his dog, and his designated ‘fag hag’ (I hate that term sooooo much but just had to use it) have jumped onto everything retro. The Cosmo (thanks to Sex And The City) has apparently made a comeback. News to me! Someone even told me that good old Pimm’s is making a return. Who would have ever imagined that?!

As I sit back and reflect on my own life (Ugh! What a sight!) I am reminded of better times, when life was easy, when the men in my life were easier, and when getting into my size 28-inch jeans was the easiest thing of all. Thanks to my preparation for the next Ice Age (translation: KFC) it would be a certified miracle of God if I were to fit into those jeans ever again. I think the best thing for me to do is to cut off their legs and make them into a lovely retro-style wine carrier.  

The fixation retro means that all things ’80s have returned with a vengeance, with acid and fluoro colours and designs finding their way back into our wardrobes. (Well not my wardrobe, but those of the ‘young and incredibly good-looking’.) Shaggy hairstyles are all the rage a la Zac Efron and Ed Westwick, and retro music – particularly from the ’80s – is back on the dance floor. I must admit that I do love everything from the ‘80’s – but The Presets are my current new faves. You see, there is life left in this old girl yet!

I do get a giggle however when some ‘young and incredibly good-looking’ thing comes up to me and raves about the ‘new’ song that the DJ is playing (“Come and dance Wanda, come and dance!”). Being the honest person that I am (translation: bitch) I sometimes deflate them by telling them it is not new; it is the remix of the cover of a cover of an 80’s song. Oh well – too bad, so sad.

I can confidently say however that when I’m on life support in the ‘Old Fags and Drags’ home, connected to my Smirnoff drip, I will be listening to the ‘latest’ release of the cover of the cover of the remix of the remix of the original song from the ’80s to tap my few remaining working body parts… Probably just my left foot. Ah, life will still be sweet – even then.
 
See you on the D List!