Ryan Perdio reflects on the crazy things that mothers say.
Mothers can always be counted on to make inappropriate, politically-incorrect and personally-insensitive comments. Mine does all the time.
Be it on fashion sense (“She’s too fat to be wearing that thing!”), personal hygiene (“Hasn’t he discovered deodorants?”) or even the current political climate (“The only thing that Prime Minister was ever good at was stuttering!”), my mother has the innate ability to make everyday observances particularly cringe-worthy.
But if you think those comments are embarrassing, her pointed remarks about my sexuality are downright mortifying.
I came out to my mother when I was sixteen after she happened upon the computer monitor and saw a poster I was making for the queer youth group I was a member of at the time. She insisted on finding out what GLBTI meant and after explaining what it stood for then wanted to know why I was involved. It was as good a time as any to let her know that she shouldn’t expect to be the mother of the groom or have grandkids any time soon. Or at all.
When the initial shock subsided and she finally found her tongue, the first words that passed thru her lips were, “If you’re gay, then you’re going to get AIDS!”
She promptly cried and I spent the next hour explaining otherwise.
My mother’s comments do not come from a place of malice or from naivety. She’s an educated woman who graduated from college and even taught high school. But for the last 25 years, she’s been a housewife and a mother, and absent from such frivolous conventions like office politics, she’s become used to saying exactly what she thinks and feels.
She’s come to terms with my sexuality now after many years (“Are you sure, maybe you just need to be with the right girl?”), and sometimes I think she’s adjusted to it too well. But that still hasn’t stopped her from making her motherly remarks. In fact, she feels like she must comment for my welfare more than ever. Usually it’s her way of passing on advice: “Always take care of yourself”, “Don’t meet up with weirdos” and “Make sure you always use a condom”.
Most of the time though, I believe she does it so that I would die from shock and embarrassment.
One morning after my then boyfriend stayed the night over for the very first time, I was standing by the kitchen bench, eating my cereals when my mother showed up to cook breakfast. She knew that my visitor had spent the night but had no issues with the fact. As she made her way to the stove, she passed by behind me and to my surprise, slapped my bum! With a completely straight face, she asked, “So, does it hurt?”
I almost choked on my cornflakes.
My mother might lack tact and at times can be crude, but her colourful comments are simply her way of showing motherly concern. After all, it’s her prerogative.
Ryan Perdio reflects on the crazy things that mothers say.
Show/Hide comments
Show/Hide comment form
