Bedding straight men successfully requires you follow four simple rules, according to Chad Watson.
I like my men straight. Recently when I was dating an openly gay male he was shocked at how many of my friends asked surprised, “You’re gay?”
Some think the attraction is the want of attaining what we can’t have, but for me it’s like dating your best mate and you don’t risk sleeping with someone half of Brisbane has slept with.
I like blokey things like footy and camping, and because of this, I’m a straight bloke’s best gay mate.
Straight guys are like gremlins. To date them you have to follow a few rules so you don’t risk a monster bursting out of something otherwise cute and cuddly.
It must be noted there are some dangers risked when sleeping with straight men. He might flip out with guilt or disgust and leave you a beaten mess because he simply likes penis and can’t admit to it.
So remember, always be careful, and know who you’re getting into bed with.
Rule 1: Don’t be too intense.
Straight guys are used to having gay guys throwing themselves at them. When you do the opposite, they begin to question what’s wrong, and before you know it they’re the ones wanting to constantly hang out watching DVDs and drinking.
After the initial hanging out has started, they start asking questions about sexuality and showing the bi-curious vibe.
Let them know it’s okay to have thoughts about the same sex. But don’t forget to throw a compliment here and there, they’re like Leos. They love the egos being stroked, amongst, er, other things.
Rule 2: Never instigate.
“Treat them mean and keep them keen” is your motto. When you’re not acting like every gay guy, they start questioning. I always assure them if anything is going to happen they would have to instigate it. And trust me, they always do.
This usually happens after a night of drinking, and they pop the question. The first time I reply with, “Are you sure? I don’t want things to get weird.”
They reply with, “Maybe it’s not a good idea.” But 99 percent of the time on the next visit they’ll ask once more and suddenly your friendship has taken the next level into a physical relationship.
One minute you’re giving a massage because they’re sore from training, and then next you’re messaging more then just their back.
Rule 3: Be patient and non-confronting.
If they get over the fact they have just committed a sexual act with the same sex, and see past what society demands of the typical male, you’re in.
Give them a few days to process their thoughts. We’ve all been there so be understanding, and before you know it they’re back and wanting more.
Imagine now a few weeks have passed. The two of you have played around a bit and the kind of relationship you may have can be classified as companionship.
Do not mix this with the title of relationship. There is a very fine line, one that straight men don’t like to cross because we all know men’s greatest struggle is to commit, especially in regards to titles.
You will find he will love coming along gay clubbing as your straight mate, and when you’re back in your room cuddling and no-one is watching, well, use your imagination.
When the week starts he’s back to his straight life of sports training and putting on the bloke bravado until your next encounter.
Now if you can handle him taking pieces but not the whole cake, what you can have is something quite satisfying. That’s why, if this is the case, you must always observe Rule four.
Rule 4: Never fall in love with a straight man.
When the heart gets involved it can go quite pear shaped. If you find you are falling in love and the two of you can talk about it, do it and hopefully you guys can come to an understanding. Trust me this can work.
Follow the above rules and the two of you can interact quite healthily until some defining event takes place such as he starts dating a girl.
This can easily be dealt with also. The straight man will very rarely jump the fence to the rainbow side completely. If that is a risk you’re willing to take, simply don’t place expectations and you won’t be disappointed.
Always remember that in any kind of relationship your heart only gets hurt as much as you let it.
Chad Watson writes the Queer in Translation blog at www.queenslandpride.com.au
Hey Its the chick you met on the train, and i have to say that there is not many men in Mount isa cause i am from there and there is not mAny gay guys, trust me i love gay guys they are the best freinds you could ever have
... written by chad watson , 09 September, 2008
This article is fun, but also based on fact. Humorous and unbelievable as it may sound, this happens: I'm actually still friends with the straight guy. But at some point I had to ask me myself, is this the kinda thing that I'd want continuing or would I want something with more depth and substance? Ultimately, the question I faced was was I happy being with someone who wanted just a slice but not the whole cake.
... written by Pooka , 06 September, 2008
The twinky cover boy is from Mt Isa.
... written by Gurgle , 06 September, 2008
I hope this article is just 'for fun', because if people honestly tried this with an actual heterosexual man they would at the very least lose the friendship, or at worst, get their head punched in.
... written by chad watson , 29 August, 2008
Mt Isa? funny you should say that. I met two of the most coolest people from there just recently.
... written by Switch-hit , 27 August, 2008
And if these rules should fail, you could always move to Mt Isa!
Bedding straight men successfully requires you follow four simple rules, according to Chad Watson.
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