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Like its namesake, this new sex toy will have you all lit up. Just ask Barry Lowe.
The greatest sex toy invention since the dildo or Joey Stefano’s butthole? Pretty close.
We’re talking about the Fleshjack (nee Fleshlight). The name stems from
the fact that the outer plastic casing (black, white, silver, opaque)
resembles an outsize torch (flashlight). But it’s the inner sleeve that
is the miracle of man-made ingenuity.
And that made man is former police officer Steve Shubin who was
suffering blue balls because of a lack of sex as his wife was
undergoing a high-risk pregnancy. Rather than go out and play round,
ten years ago he was granted a patent for a “device for discreet sperm
collection”.
Yea, well that’s the idea if you want to collect it like stamps or
used rubbers but the ‘residue’ does wash away easily or you can … well,
use your imagination.
The insert is not plastic or rubber. In fact it’s a secret substance
that will be known only to your penis although we’re allowed to reveal
that the material is an “elastomeric gel formed from a mixture of
90-94% by weight of plasticising oil and of 5-9% by weight of a block
copolymer comprising an admixture of …” Blah blah blah. Look it up if
you’re of a scientific bent. And like the modern gay arsehole, it’s
suitable only for water-based lubricants.
The inserts come in various shades of human including the decidedly
alien ‘ice’, which is stickier internally than the others. The
entrances come in (no pun intended) vagina, butthole, mouth, classic
Jack ass and stealth (formerly non-descript that looks like a postal
slot in a letterbox).
The inserts also come in various widths and ripples to enhance
pleasure. The Fleshlight is pretty unrelenting in its heterosexuality,
and if you want a cute guy doing things to a Fleshlight check out the
US website (www.fleshlight.com ).
But if the Fleshlight is too straight, try the Fleshjack, which was
launched in April last year. Yeah, it’s the same old same old except
the marketing department realised that gay men are avid consumers of
the latest high tech sex toy. There are no women on the Fleshjack
website.
And my opinion? Well I had to test it five or six dozen times to ensure
my initial reaction was correct. As a confirmed bottom I could turn top
for my Fleshjack.
There are a few down points: the lubricant leaks, it’s a bit fiddly to
clean, and you can’t squeeze the plastic casing to make it tighter
around your dick. But, hey, the Fleshjack doesn’t have to douche and it
doesn’t leave those nasty shit stains round your knob.
You can remove the inner layer to squeeze it tighter but then the sperm
has nowhere to dribble but out the end. Unless you’re hung like Goliath
my tip would be to go for the tightest model. The feeling is akin to
getting a blowjob from Polymer Man – but a bloody good blow job. I
don’t think I’ve had such intense orgasms in years.
They’re expensive but there’s something incredibly sexy watching a guy
insert his hard-on into the inviting pink lips. If you don’t believe
me, just look at the website. This could be the beginning of a new wave
of jerk-off parties.
fleshjack.com.au/
fleshjack.com/
[www.barrylowe.net ]
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